Dear WN,

The Underground Mafias Army of Club Penguin better known as the “UMA” is one of the first club penguin armies it was created in 2006 by a famous club penguin blogger named Pink Mafias, we are one of the largest club penguin armies and we give away mascot meetup times and CPPS cheats click the join button and be a part of us!
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PINK GUY · STFU

Dear WN,

Posted on October 23, 2013 by wɢғv

While perusing CPAC I saw a RSS feed that claimed you won your UK invasion. So I clicked it only to read this.

I expected a little more, at least 5 anyways. Seriously though, who cares? We won and that’s what matters since UMA no showed. I scouted the island just to check. My timezone is EST for clarification.

Please GOD, tell me that you are not that stupid. Please tell me you are not claiming victory WITH A SINGLE DAMN PERSON. I pray that you peons are doing this as a joke as no self-respecting army would EVER post this as an “event.” In case you are that deluded you need at least FIVE for an invasion to count as AN INVASION. Otherwise I would log on at 4:32 AM and claim everything by myself.